I feel very different from the person I was when I stepped onto campus at the start of my Prep year. Though at my core much is the same—my drive, my love of laughter, my commitment to people and the things I do—it’s undeniable how different my life is today. Fresh experiences, new people, and a lot of growth means I am leaving this place with a much clearer outlook on myself.

When I chose a fall co-curricular in the first weeks of my Prep year, something compelled me to pick instructional rowing. I still have no idea why I chose to do a sport I had zero prior experience with. Though I would have felt more comfortable  with  other  options, something in me wanted to choose an interesting co-curricular instead.

I didn’t know it then, but arriving at Schmidt Concourse that first day, meeting DQ & Sam—two people who have rowed with me since the very beginning—the pieces began falling into place for an experience that would have an unimaginable impact on me.

I learned to cox by studying techniques,  watching  films,  and rehearsing calls. By racing season in the spring, I had coxed different boats in practice and regattas, including the Boys 1V, a boat full of veteran upperclassmen boys. I remember having a complete meltdown at 10 p.m. the night prior to our 6 a.m. practice. I felt like I wasn’t good enough and was afraid to be judged by my teammates when they realized I was far below their skill level.

But I was not alone in “jumping into the deep end.” I was supported by coaches and a team that believed in me, invested time and energy in me, and wanted to see me go far. In rowing, I found people who were going to be there for me, people who I now see as my family here.

A sport I had not thought about for one second prior to coming here has become a fixture in my life. It’s an outlet for me. Coxing is methodical and requires mental clarity, organization, and precision. Sitting in the coxswain seat, it’s just me and the water. As the type of person who likes being overly prepared and wants to know as much as possible before doing things, coxing has taught me to let go, learn as I go, and be confident.

My mom once read a book called What If It’s Wonderful. I wish I could tell my Prep year self—sitting at her desk in Flinn, getting the lineup and seeing her name on the Boys 1V, absolutely freaking out on the phone to her mom— that it would all turn out more than wonderful, that I’d be finishing my time at Hotchkiss in my second year of coxing the Boys 1V as the captain of the team, and going on to row in college.

You never know what lies ahead, so why not try it out? You’ll never know if the outcome is good or bad unless you do it. I don’t know where the confidence that led me to choose rowing came from four years ago, but I will always be grateful for it. That decision—that totally random move—changed my life. So, I urge you all to use this place and all its possibilities to your advantage, and see where it takes you.

I’d like to thank Coach Berger and the boys in the boat for always being there for me, helping me improve, and listening to me grunt every 15 seconds while getting violently splashed by cold water.

Thank you to my best friend Allie, all my dearest friends, and very special individuals like Ms. Dockery and Mr. Witkowski. For the last four years, thank you for constantly believing in me and going above and beyond to show up and be there for me.

Last but not least, to my advisor, Mr. D’Ambrosio: thank you for being by my side, listening to me, and laughing with me. I hope everyone finds a person like you to rely on here, because it has truly made all the difference to me.